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The Top Ten Signs You've Hired the Wrong Guy to do Your Taxes:
- In several places on your tax forms, it's written, "Give or take a thousand dollars"
- In the "For office use only" area he writes, "Approved, Send refund immediately."
- There's a Commodore 64 on his desk
- You notice that his "calculator" is just a broken VCR remote
- Frequent use of the word "eleventeen"
- Keeps muttering: "Woah, when did they add this line?"
- Counts family of squirrels living in your yard as dependents
- There are plane tickets to the Bahamas dated April 15th lying on his desk
- He insists that you refer to him as the "Una-Countant"
And The Number One Sign You Hired The Wrong Guy To Do Your Taxes:
- You're doing them yourself
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“A Liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”
--G. Gordon Liddy
“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”
--George Bernard Shaw
“Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.”
--Douglas Casey
“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
--P.J. O'Rourke
“Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.”
--Frederic Bastia
“Government's view of the economy summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it!”
--Ronald Reagan
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
--Will Rogers
“If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.”
--P.J. O'Rourke
“Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.”
--Pericles (430 B.C.)
“No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session.”
--Mark Twain
“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
--Mark Twain
“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.”
--Winston Churchill
“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”
--Mark Twain
“We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”
--Winston Churchill
“We have a tax code that favors those with the best accountants.”
--Shane Keats
“The less chance you have of successfully defending your income tax return, the greater the chance it will be randomly selected for audit.”
--John Peers
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